7th November 2024

Trump, Coffee and Surviving Uganda

As Ugandans, we’ve been stripped of that luxury at seemingly every turn. It wouldn’t be too bad if it was simply about the right to select the president of our country; that’s par for the course in Africa. We’ve long come to terms with the fact that democracy is purely symbolic here. No, it’s deeper than that. It’s the fact that in every industry, we are faced with a crippling choicelessness, forced to contend with mediocrity, overpriced goods, and low-quality everything.

22nd October 2024

The Elephant in the Room

While colonialists and Indians once used violence to capture the economy and shut Ugandans out, today’s actors merely price them out. That was the crux of the China store debate. Foreign investors, given all sorts of concessions that Ugandan businesspeople could only dream of, created a mega-store with super-cheap goods. Multiply that across the country, and Ugandan businesses can no longer compete.

17th September 2024

The Tall Poppy Syndrome: African Leaders and Their Inferiority Complex

They know they shouldn’t be there, and they also know that we know they shouldn’t be there, so they compensate for their inferiority complex by nursing larger-than-life personalities and living lives even the Kardashians would envy

23rd August 2024

Kampala: The City with Two Faces

To this end, shame after each corruption scandal will be endured, name-calling ignored. Don’t tell them about defamation lawsuits—they’re too busy battling the ghosts of their impoverished pasts.

17th February 2024

To Amr.

4th January 2024

The New Face of African Slavery

Beneath all this lies a truth as old as Museveni, Africa is not rising. She’s Cinderella without Prince Charming- so much potential and yet no concrete plan to harness it. With the youngest population in the world, Africa should be gearing up to become the manufacturing giant China turned itself into. Instead, she’s borrowing a leaf from the wrong side of history.

28th December 2023

The Visitor's Cup

This isn’t a story about being spanked or growing up in an African home. Not exactly. This story is about the teacup and how we, as Africans, have always been groomed to save the absolute best for guests. Teacups, forks, and even table mats are distinguished from the day they enter the home. These are only used by very special guests. In fact, you can usually tell how special the guest is by whether they receive the royal treatment or not.

20th September 2023

Madman or Genius? Idi Amin’s Solution to Illegal Immigration.

A brief examination of the migrant crisis currently afflicting much of Europe and the United States provides ample evidence that sentimental notions and warm "let's spread love" messages hold little weight in the face of the stark realities of immigration. There exists a critical threshold at which migrants transform into immigrants and eventually, illegal aliens in the eyes of the native population.

11th September 2023

The Things You'll Fail At

My mum once found me sitting outside, pouting. I can’t recall why I was pouting, but I know the decision to sit outside where all could see was strategic. First, I needed everyone to know I was unhappy without having to say I was unhappy. In a typical African household, you can’t just go ‘heal’ in the darkness - everyone must know you’ve been hurt and why. I mean, is it even a pout if there’s no one to witness it? Second, I needed specific members of the family, a.k.a. my mother, to see me pout.

11th September 2023

The road not taken

My palms were sweaty, and words stuck in my throat. My eyes—well, they couldn’t be bothered to do what I had practiced them doing. I couldn't look at you; I couldn't let you see this longing, this feeling of loss since the day you left. You had picked up your keys off the table, paused at the door, and sighed. You didn't look back, nor did you say a word. You just stood there, as if deciding between two impossible tasks. I never thought you would leave. I'll admit it plainly here—I got cocky, fu

11th September 2023

What happens in the dark

The nation of Zambia grieved the loss of its founding father, Kenneth Kaunda. A man whose charisma and charm saw him rise in stature on the international scene even as his reputation was in shambles back home. 1960 Zambia was thought to be an African jewel with a bright future- despite the internal tensions between its white minority population and the black Africans. The country enjoyed the benefits of a stable economy held up by it’s lucrative copper exports.

The Zambia Kenneth inherited seem

11th September 2023

The things that haunt us- Part 1

Ticket. Check. Outfit. Check. Drink. Double-check. The event was advertised a month ago, and you're beyond ready to spend some hard-earned shillings. You could've gotten the ticket for free, but you don't mind paying, especially when the artist is worth it. You need this. You've been stressed, working yourself to the bone so you can do things like this.

The thing starts at 4 PM, and you're there at 5. But this is Kampala, and most people won't start trickling in until an hour later, two even. Y